Sunday, November 11, 2012

Y'all It Tastes Like Chicken.


You know that one joke where people say "it tastes like chicken" when others ask what funky, weird shit tastes like? Well... I just was up to the Whole Foods here in sunny Glendale, California. I purchased their vegan curry chicken salad - which, for the past several years, has been made with Gardein. 

Now, I think Gardein is fine - some products are better than others. Their crispy mandarin orange chicken is some of the best shit I've had since becoming vegan. I think I could eat it chaque jour as they say in France. 

But when I bit into this vegan curry chicken salad, something was off. It tasted TOO much like chicken. As I'm suspicious by nature anyway, and expect people to fuck up and put non-vegan ingredients into stuff I've ordered, I got a little panicky. 

I checked the incredients, and lo and behold - something that's only been whispered about in Southern California up til this point appeared, as if sent down from the heavens. Yes, I am talking about Beyond Meat. I've heard so many things about this crap from people who have it readily available in the Bay Area - "it's scarily like meat," "you'll never know the difference," et cetera. 

Yeah, yeah, we've heard it before. And then what we're presented with turns out to be some grainy, gross shit that is barely consumable even by people who are starving to death.

Well I am here to tell you right now that this Beyond Meat stuff is the Daiya of Fake Meat Products. What does that mean? Well, it means it's awesome. An extraordinarily pleasant flavor coupled with a non-rubbery, easily-chewed texture.  Finally!

I hope we are going to be able to buy this stuff in forms other than pre-prepared salads, because I would love to make it a regular thing. 

Deee-licious.

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