Friday, July 1, 2011

Canta y No Llores!

¡Aye, que rico!


I never, ever thought I would find it. Queso dip for vegans that doesn't taste like sweaty crack. You know what I mean.

As I was perusing the various hippie comestibles at Figueroa Produce in divine Highland Park, I came across a product that I had only marginal hopes for - yeah, yeah, yeah, yet another vegan cheese substitute. Aside from Daiya, vegan cheese is pasty, it tastes like rotting misery or worse, and it's just plain gross. People eat it because they want to feel included in the whole "I'm a vegan and I TOTALLY don't miss cheese because I have all of these great substitutes!" thing. But guess what? Almost all of it tastes like BALLS.

So I bought it anyway. I like to live on the edge.

I saved it for a few days, mostly because I was afraid that I would be opening some Satanic Jar of Death that would send me into a fainting spell. And then it happened. I grabbed a bag of corn and nopal chips and snapped the top off that jar.

Paradise.

This stuff is SO GOOD I can't even tell you. It tastes just like - no, wait - BETTER THAN - any actual queso dip you could ever have imagined. No aftertaste, no questionable flavors that make you think, "Really? They marketed this as cheese substitute?". It is so good that, as a matter of fact, I might just eat the whole jar of it tonight. And I don't give a shit because it is FAT FREE. Try finding a non-vegan queso dip that can add that to its list of selling points.

Find this shit, y'all, if you have to cross oceans of time in order to do so. It's produced by Food For Lovers - which is an especially appropriate name if by "lovers," they mean lovers of totally fucking awesome vegan queso.