Friday, May 8, 2009

On the Road with YOPV, Part 2.

God damn, y'all. MMB's been doin' him some EATIN'.

He met his friend Tracie yesterday morning (and her new French Bulldog Gatsby) and the two of them headed out for a day of excitement. First, they went to the Alcove Cafe and Bakery on Hillhurst in Los Feliz. As they were enjoying their brunch of granola and soymilk, and assorted comestibles, they noticed several celebrities lounging about at various tables - most notably, Mr. Jude Law was sitting at the table next to them and Mr. Lenny Kravitz was a few tables away. Oh, Los Angeles...

After a brief sojourn to the Wacko Soap Plant on Hollywood Blvd., where they witnessed the theft of several expensive pieces of art from the back gallery, they jetted off to Scoops, a purveyor of fine homemade ice cream with a lovely vegan selection.


MMB sampled the banana oreo cookie and the chocolate almond varieties. Both were so god damn good he almost started screaming.

After that, Tracie had to go to pick her son up, so MMB was left on his own. He spent the afternoon drooling over the selection at Amoeba, the best fucking music / movie store on the planet. He bought a Mojave 3 cd and the first season of Popular, because he's, you know, that way.

Afterward, he met his friend Amy and the two went to Cru, the raw food restaurant in Silverlake that USED TO have that god damn banana split that sent MMB into a foaming frenzy. Although MMB was upset that the banana split was no longer on the menu, he decided he would give their other items a chance. And he's very happy he did.

The marinated kale salad with avocado and sprouts was deee-licious. MMB got him some roughage, y'all, and it was worth it. Kale may well be the best food on the planet, just so you know. Vitamin K, calcium, all sorts of shit is packed up in them leafy folds.

Amy got a sampler platter complete with a different variety of kale salad, some tzaziki with cucumbers, cashew nut cheese, some mashed date shenanigans, and beet salad. MMB tried the cashew cheese and it was fucking GOOD.


Check this shit out, y'all. This is raw cashew cheese ravioli stuffed in jicama. So good you would want to order another plate of it immediately after consuming this shit. Garlicky, creamy, fucking awesome - these little bastards are some of the best things ever.

After MMB's initial despondency over the fact that Cru had removed the banana split from their menu, he decided to give the brownie a la mode a go. Holy Fucking Balls, y'all. It's BETTER than the banana split. Yes, you read that right - it's better. The brownie tastes and feels like a regular brownie, and the ice cream and chocolate sauce - SHAZAM!

Today, MMB's going to visit his favorite West Coast yoga instructor Patty at Karuna Yoga on Hillhurst. He can't wait. Then he'll probably saunter over to Ye Olde Vegan Barn for a seitan wrap. But you never know. So many choices.

Thursday, May 7, 2009

On the Road with YOPV, Part I.


Marky Mae Brown was en route to Los Angeles yesterday. He's there to visit friends, hike the mountains, look at the beach, and see the Dead (yes - you don't have to say anything) on Saturday.

He flew Jet Blue, which has a brand new terminal (T5, they like to call it) at JFK International Airport. Now, Marky Mae had to get up at 4:30 to catch this flight and he needed coffee big time. "Oh, I'll just get it at the airport," he said to himself as he tried very hard to wake up. When he got to the terminal, however, he was dismayed to find that not a single coffee purveyor offered soy milk. In New York City. At an international airport. It was the one and only time Marky Mae has ever caught himself actually wishing there were a Starbucks around. He steeled himself for the pain and drank his coffee black.

In a testament to just how retarded Marky Mae actually is, his first stop after he got to Los Angeles was Nature Mart, his favorite health food store in the area. (kd Lang is a shopper here, too, y'all. She's been witnessed in their bulk bin on many occasions.) He purchased a kombucha (he noted there was a new brand available, but didn't buy it because it's in a plastic bottle and that just ain't right) and some of his favorite grilled seitan, and then headed over to the park to eat that shit up. Damn, that seitan was good.

Later that evening, he and his hosts went to an authentic Mexican restaurant in Highland Park at 5511 N. Figueroa St. called Cinnamon Vegetarian. It boasts the curious slogan, "Discover Your Fullness." He discovered his fullness, all right. He ordered the "chicken mole" - it was off the god damn chain, y'all. It featured what tasted like Follow Your Heart 'Chicken-free Chicken (minus the disgusting fake ribs Follow Your Heart seemed to think it was necessary to include). DEEE-licious. The fresh guacamole was delicious, too. All in all, a lovely joint. Sadly, Marky Mae wasn't able to savor any of the desserts ("Made each morning in a labor of love") because of the fullness he had discovered, but they all looked beautiful, y'all.

He's going on several gluttonous excursions while in La Ciudad de Angeles, and will report more as he gobbles his way through this god damn place.