Friday, April 17, 2009

You're Just What I Needed.

Off the motherfucking hook, y'all.

I'm going to admit it - I have an addictive personality. When it comes to desserts, once I start - I just can't stop. I cram desserts down with such force and fervor and intensity that one would think my life depended on it.  

So the very last thing I needed was a purveyor of homemade vegan non-dairy frozen desserts to open in New York City. What I needed even less was TWO purveyors of homemade vegan non-dairy frozen desserts to open in New York City. Yet, that is exactly what I got.

Today I met my friend Jating after work for our Hoagie-a-thon at Sacred Chow. Now, if you haven't been there I would suggest - no, I DEMAND - that you drop whatever you're doing and run screaming for their door and order the following items: 1) dijon-marinated raw kale, 2) the black olive seitan hero. Never in your life will you experience anything as close to divine as those two food items. Well, except for what I'm about to describe to you right now.

So, after we were finished with our meal, I said to Jating, I said, "Hey, howzabout we go and try one of those two new vegan non-dairy frozen dessert purveyors we've got up in here?" because we've been talking about doing that for the past several weeks. She agreed, and off we went. We never expected what happened, though - we witnessed our lives changing.

Stogo. It's at 159 2nd Ave (entrance is around the corner - across from the poetry church). Their atmosphere was a bit stale, like one of those obnoxious frozen yogurt kiosks that is littering our city these days - but who gives a fuck about that. What mattered was the tubs of frozen goo they had behind their counter.

Flavors like "Toasted Almond Joy," "Red Velvet," "Salted Caramel Pecan," "Pina Colada," and "Bananas Foster" were glaring out at us, wooing us with their glistening goodness, whispering into our ears, "Eat me! I am delicious!"

I got "Toasted Almond Joy" and "Salted Caramel Pecan" crammed into a cup. Jating got the "Pina Colada." Let me tell you what, y'all. This shit was SO FUCKING GOOD I can't even begin to do it justice. SO. Fucking. GOOD. Plus, it had no discernible aftertaste at all, as some hippie ice cream substitutes do, nor did it have a weird texture. It was the real deal and it made me want to cry.

After that, we decided to walk to the new Kim's Music and Video location on First Avenue (St. Mark's is too highbrow now, if you can believe that shit. Where once were junkies and hobos there now are yuppies and trust fund cunts. So boring.) After Kim's, we decided just to be total fucking hogs (well, I did, anyway. Jating had no more ice cream) and went to new purveyor of non-dairy frozen desserts number two, Lula's Sweet Apothecary.

Lula's is at 519 East Sixth Street between A and B in the East Village. Let me tell you what - the people who work there are just as cute as a button, and the ambience is ciento por ciento better than Stogo's. Olde Fashioned apothecary signs line the walls, antique bottles and kitchenware complement the decor, giving a sense of time warp. It's like a hippie version of Farrell's. And we all know how much I like Farrell's!

I had the mint chocolate cookie "ice cream." Off the fucking hook. Not too sweet, and divine. Homemade, I might add. Jating got an apple seltzer, and the best part - they use actual seltzer bottles. Glass ones, with dispensers. They get them from one of the last people in the WORLD to supply this shit, and it's super cool to watch them lug those things out and spray seltzer into a glass.

A vegan rampage, is what it was, and it was an awesome one. I highly recommend both purveyors of frozen non-dairy desserts. Get some - it's almost summer!


jatingc said...

everything...EVERYTHING we had was so damn good. as a non-vegan who could have aaaaaaaaaany ice cream in the world that i want, i have to HIGHLY recommend stogo's!!

the pina colada was fresh, with very discernable pieces of pineapple and generous coconut...but all in correct proportion and very well-balanced. the consistency is not like regular ice cream, but instead "lighter" and very enjoyable in it's own right.

another thing that was really appealing, it wasn't overly sweet. i've sampled the other vegan ice creams that are sold commercially and many of them can be if the manufacturers were trying to make up for the lack of milk fat with sugar/sweetness. this was a really nice balance of creamy, sweet deliciousness.

the seltzer at lula's is AWESOME. so fresh it hurts...just like it should be.

verybecca said...

I smell a field trip. We're gonna need to go ahead and hit that.

Maxine Shelldale said...

Yes, you are - the shit is so good.