Sunday, February 22, 2009

Off the Hook Raw Foods with Offie Lee

Hi, y'all. I'm Offie Lee, guest-blogging here on Ye Olde Pompous Vegan. From time to time I'll pop by and fill you in on my findings in the world of hippie foods. 

Today I'm all about raw comestibles, and let me tell you what - I can't get enough of these overpriced raw foods! Legend has it that raw foods maintain the natural enzymes that are generally destroyed when food is cooked above 113 degrees. Enzymes = health, or so they say. If it's a gimmick, I'm sold, y'all, because this shit is off the motherfucking chizzain up in here. 

Take, for example, this dr-cow tree nut cream cheese:

You know what's in this? Cashew nuts, salt and acidophilus. Off. The. Chain. It's low in fat and calories and tastes like a creamy and delicious cheese should - sharp and gorgeous. Get you some and find out, if you think I'm joking. 

Now, what could complement such a divine raw vegan cheese product? How about some motherfuckin' raw onion bread? Like Awesome Foods Raw Onion Bread, perhaps?

Let me tell you what - no matter what you think of it now - you have never. and I mean Ever. tasted anything as delicious as raw onion bread. It is so so sweet and delicious and will leave you begging for that dehydrator to hurry the fuck up and pump some more of that greasy goodness out. Off the chain.

Might I suggest the following - get you some Dr-Cow and some raw onion bread, an avocado, a tomato, and some broccoli sprouts, mash the crap out of that avocado and smear both it and the cheese on that onion bread, top it off with some tomato and some sprouts, and have you a good ol' fashioned raw party with fixins! 

You'll feel vibrant and fabulous and be overwhelmed by how deee-lovely and deee-licious raw food can be! Take it from me, Offie Lee!


Sinsational Shasta! said...

Right now I'm finishing up another jar of Rejuvelac to make a fresh batch of sunflower cheese. Yum.

Marky Mae Brown said...


Dimples Doublefist said...

You know what's off the chizzain? Your hippy-ness!