Thursday, October 2, 2008

Do the Hunza!

Let me tell you what - this raw food is mad expensive, yo. It is an unfortunate fact, however, that I absolutely love - and I mean LOVE - raw food. I love it. Sure, some of it tastes like coffee grounds in the compost - and yes, a lot of it is even more fattening than its cooked counterpart - but I still love it. I love the concept of it and the fact that, by its very nature, it makes me at least pretend to be a better and healthier person.

Meanwhile, I don't have time for a lot of these raw food shenanigans. I don't have time for things to sprout or soak or decompose or dehydrate or any of those other processes one must go through in order to make any of this shit even slightly palatable. Therefore, as with regular food, I have turned to the "fast food" version of raw foods - and that generally entails really expensive, yet delicious, "on the go" treats.

My favorite for quite some time has been the Go Take a Hike! trail mix as presented by our friends at International Harvest.
  • goji berries
  • mulberries
  • golden raisins
  • cacao nibs
  • cashews
  • pistachios
  • Throw all those motherfuckers together and you've got a combination of comestibles that, when blended, equals DELICIOUS.

    A word of advice - be sure to shake the fuck out of your sack of Go Take a Hike! to make sure them cacao nibs are evenly dispersed throughout. Otherwise, you're in for a bitter surprise at the bottom of the bag. When mixed with the sweeter dried fruits and nuts, the nibs are divine. Alone, they taste like chalky doom.

    A note to the people at and every other raw food website - why is it that every single page on your sites EXCEPT the ones from which you can earn money are perpetually "under construction"? Are you too busy dehydrating rain forest-friendly fruits to write a god damn paragraph telling us why your product should be eaten? Get the god damn lead out of your asses and get some marketing skills. Jesus.

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