Monday, August 11, 2008

Mongo like candy...

These assholes right here - they taste GOOD.

I'm going to admit it. I am a pig. I am a BIG FAT PIG. I can eat a whole pizza in one sitting and want more. You put a pint of non-dairy frozen dessert in front of me - as soon as it's gone, I'm going to want another one.

I'm trying to learn moderation. I really am. But sometimes - you've just got to say, "fuck that."

Like today, for example. Today I went to see Pineapple Express to alleviate some duress I am going through at the moment.

Before the film, I stopped off at Perelandra Natural Foods in Brooklyn Heights to purchase some snacks for the film that wouldn't contain the usual offending ingredients found in movie vendors' snack items (gelatin, whatever the fuck that slime is they drizzle on their popcorn, dairy, hot dogs, et cetera).

After being hit on by the Goth boy in the Siouxsie & the Banshees 'Seven Year Itch' tour t-shirt, I purchased three - yes, that's right - three - varieties of Crispy Cat Candy Bars from Tree Huggin' Treats.

Let me tell you something - these little bastards are mmm-mmm GOOD. They come in three (3) varieties: Roasted Peanut, Mint Coconut, and Toasted Almond.

And the best part - they don't taste like hippie food. You know, sometimes when you buy a "candy bar" at the health food store and it tastes like you're eating compressed compost?

Or, there was that one time I bought a dark chocolate candy bar at that health food store on Pasadena Blvd. in St. Petersburg, only to open it and find maggots creating complex tunnels throughout its ultradark center. "That will happen since there are no preservatives," the disinterested cashier said vaguely as she refunded my money.

But back to these bitches. These candy bars taste like actual real candy bars. No soy flavor, no chalky bullshit, no hemp nuts or goji berries. Just plain candy. And they're ORGANIC.

They've got 220 calories each, and since I ate three I probably shouldn't eat anything else for the rest of the day - but as I said, I'm a pig. I'll probably get three more of these bad boyz tomorrow.


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