Tuesday, July 1, 2008

Riding Wildfire


Why do we continue to believe that we are the keepers of all animals and can do with them whatever we want?

They're not here for our amusement, they're not here for our benefit. They're here for the same reason we are - to live out whatever lives they have. They're not supposed to be crammed into cages, have vacuums applied to their teats to suck out sustenance they wouldn't be producing if we didn't keep them artificially impregnated, turned into purses or iPod cases, have their skins ripped off and turned into some tacky vest for a moronic hip hop star to wear to prove his monetary worth.

No, no, no, no, no.

They are here to be left the fuck alone to sip at rivulets and frolic in the green grass and take naps under trees and root around in other animals' dung and fly and scamper and crawl and do whatever else it is that they do do when we're not trying (and generally succeeding) to tamper with and destroy their livelihoods.

So, why is it that governments continue to think that they have animals' "best interests" in mind, feeling that they are in control of populations of wild beasts who are lucky enough not to be trapped in the misery and decay that is the ability to "reason"? (Think how amazing this world would be if people actually DID use their brains in the way they were intended - none of these shenanigans would be going on right now, that's for sure.)

First we have the ASSHOLE government of South Africa saying that it's going to open up its elephant population, including babies, for hunting because the herds are too large and are unsustainable. Then we have the U.S. government taking wolves off the endangered species list, immediately allowing tobacco-chewing rednecks to drive their bullshit trucks out into the wilderness and blow up these animals who weren't doing one fucking thing except minding their own business.

Now, in yet another egregious example of how grotesque the human race actually is, we have this trinket of news:

Federal officials are considering euthanizing wild horses to deal with the growing population on the range and in holding facilities, authorities said Monday.
You know what? Don't diss those ponies.

You want to euthanize a population that is growing too quickly? Start with all of these fat, useless turds who are waddling around gobbling up resources in the form of Fritos and hot dog buns, 9,000 different brands of the exact same cereal, and Hostess Cupcakes, wasting their existences sitting their god damn asses in front of the television watching America's Next Top Model and American Idol. THAT is a population that should be cut in half.

You want to protect public lands? Euthanize the douches who INSIST that we need to drill every single possible piece of "untampered-with" land for oil.

Ponies - they're not doing one fucking thing that is detrimental to anyone. They don't need to have their populations "managed."

Manage the fatasses. Leave the horses alone.

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