Friday, March 28, 2008

Look at that punim

It's Friday, y'all. And do you know what that means? Yes, it's the end of a long, arduous, hideous week of toil, misery and bullshit. But that's not the important thing.

Today marks the first day of Canada's annual seal hunt. That means that hordes of idiotic mongrels and shitkickers are at this very moment descending upon helpless seal cubs and clubbing them to death so that some fat cunt can wear their fur and feel special.

This year's hunt is different, however, for a few reasons. First, Canada has defied international cries to cease this barbaric, antiquated, horrifying, immoral, grotesque, bloody annual ritual by actually INCREASING the number of seals that subhuman cumflakes can smash over the head. 275,000 - that's right, I said 275,000 - of the sweet-faced little angels are at risk of having their lives snatched away from them for the sake of greed and vanity. Many have already died as I'm typing this, I'm sure.

Second, Canada has made a limp attempt at placating animal rights groups and others by making seal hunts more "humane." What's humane to the cave-dwelling troglodytes running Canada these days? Seal "hunters" have to slit seals' arteries, ensuring they are dead, before they can skin them. Seems that, before 2008, it was fine and dandy for these knuckle-dragging anus scabs to tear the skin right off those little darlings while they were still alive.

Shocking? Well, it shouldn't be - that's how lots of furriers get the skins off their animals. They don't give a fuck if those animals are still breathing - all they care about is getting that fur away from the rightful owners so cunty hags can go to Dennis 'Bloated Rimjob' Basso and the like, coming out having spent thousands of dollars and looking like utter and complete soulless idiots.

Now, I'm sorry, Canada, but I have to argue with you here. Slitting an animal's arteries to make sure the fucking thing is dead is not "more humane." It's horrifying and cruel. Killing a baby seal, sometimes as young as three months old, is killing a baby seal - whether you slit its throat before you rip its skin from its body or not. You Canadians need to drag your stupid fucking asses out of the dark ages and realize that THE ENTIRE WORLD thinks your seal hunt is outrageously disgusting. Why, the European Union is probably going to ban import of your seal furs and products, just like the United States did years ago.

What boggles my mind most of all is how someone can look down at a beautiful baby seal, peer into those eyes and see that face, and then destroy it. Monstrosities, that's what these people are - and they're out there right this second, combing the snowbanks for little puffy babies to turn into accessories.

Want to help keep those club-happy shitheads away from seals forever? Here's a good place to start: Stop Canada's Cruel Seal Hunt.

And while we're on the topic of seals...

Ever heard of a ribbon seal? No? Well, if you want to know more about them, learn it now - they're joining polar bears and penguins in the ever-growing list of arctic and antarctic animals whose fates are dangling by a thread due to our inability to act in the face of global warming.

As Chief Cumsock of the EPA Stephen Johnson announced yesterday, The Environmental Protection Agency - acting as it always does, in the best interest of absolutely no one but rich, selfish Republicans - stated that he will "not be rushed" to place limits on C02 emissions, even though the Supreme Court ordered the EPA to manage the greenhouse gas as part of the Clean Air Act. Thanks a lot, asshole. While you're sitting behind your desk eating hoagies and jerking off, the world's falling apart.

Meanwhile, scientists are studying the ribbon seal's plight to determine whether or not it should be added to ever-growing list of endangered species.

Since that Warmongering Marmoset and his drooling, sycophantic troupe of circus clowns have worked their hardest to make it next to impossible to place an animal on the endangered species list, expect this animal to be around as those ice caps are. According to scientists, that's not long.

1 comment:

Gina said...

I am a humane person, but I could kill the motherfuckers who club seals. What an absolutely ball-less, lame way in which to "hunt."