Monday, January 14, 2008

What is it about Cheese! I LOVE cheese!

I've heard from many people, "Oh, I would become vegan, but I just love cheese too much. I can't live without cheese."

Whatever. Do you know what cheese is? It's ROTTEN MILK. That is just fucking gross. Would you eat a hundred-year egg? No? Well, it's the same concept, so if you're horrified by one you should be just as repulsed by the other. 

I've gotten into many fights with my parents over the whole dairy issue. They don't have a problem with my vegetarianism, but they abhor the fact that I've cut dairy out of my diet. "We need dairy to survive," they cry. "If the cows aren't milked, they're in pain!" they add.

That's a big old load of shit. That's what I say.

A) We DON'T need dairy to survive. Calcium is found in leafy greens just as readily as it is found in milk. We were NOT designed to drink milk past infancy, and we CERTAINLY weren't designed to suckle at the teat of a different species.

B) Cows may be in pain if they aren't milked, but they wouldn't NEED to be milked if we didn't keep them knocked up so they would continually produce. It's a foul, horrible practice.

Eating cheese is just like injecting fat directly into your thighs and asscheeks. Go ahead if that's what you want, but I won't take part. 

And whenever I DO hanker for a hunk of, a slab or slice or chunk of, I'll get the vegan alternative, which is much better for you, has the same effect in hoagies and nachos, and wasn't extracted from the pus-laden teat of an imprisoned animal.

Brands of note:

Vegan Gourmet. FABULOUS on nachos.
Tofutti. Good in hoagies.

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