Wednesday, January 30, 2008

A death for no reason

Why is it that as we progress technologically we regress mentally? Sooner or later we're going to be a bunch of helpless, drooling doughballs who have automated ourselves into superfluousness. We'll sit in our chairs staring blankly at an endless feed of reality programming while machines whirl about us, pumping us full of food and cleaning up after our evacuations.

What brought about this particular musing, you're wondering? Well, it's this inexplicable backpeddling we've taken in regards to fur. I mean, as children of the 80s, we were ALL exposed to PeTA's anti-fur campaigns, we all saw The Smiths' 'Meat Is Murder' video - we all saw the Skinny Puppy anti-vivisection videos on 120 Minutes, late night on MTV.

We should know better.

And yet, for some unknown reason, fur is making a comeback. And not just with the holier-than-thou upper-crust professional douchebag set who pompously display their furs at openings and galleries and shows, posing as if the fact that they're draped in another animal's outer coating actually makes them better than other people - oh, no. I'm talking about young people.

On a visit to Fifth Avenue's chic Henri Bendel department store last week, Pietra Jones caressed a spiky, oval-shaped hat made from fox, dyed lilac and purple. "I love fur!" purred Jones, 26, unconcerned about the process that turns living creatures into fashion accessories. "My sister is totally into PETA [People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals] and she reams me out every time I buy fur, but I can't stop myself. I know it's un-PC, but when I shop I really separate myself from thinking about the animal." (From Newsweek, Oct. 11, 2004)
The need for status is funny - it drives people to do things they wouldn't normally consider. Going into debt to have a Hummer; spending thousands to drape your body with someone else's logo and looking DOWN on those who are either too smart or too poor to fall prey to such stupid practices; and now, wearing fur.

Hip hop stars have glommed on to the fur frenzy, which is, of course, making it even MORE popular with young people who have seen these dildoes posturing in fur coats, rapping about how much money they make and how many women they screw and how everyone loves them, blah blah blah. An extract from the New Yorker:
Writer tells about a pale blue mink jacket Rosenfeld made for the video of “We Thuggin'” by the Bronx rapper Fat Joe. Fat Joe was so fat that Rosenfeld didn't have enough blue mink left to fulfill the other half of the commission-the R & B singer R. Kelly was supposed to appear alongside Fat Joe in an identical coat. Rosenfeld used the remaining mink to invent the sleeveless fur hoodie… Rosenfeld is the hip-hop world's preferred furrier. He has made pieces for Sean (Diddy) Combs, Usher and Nas. He is 55, and based out of a dingy storefront on West 29th Street.
I am sure those minks would happily have sacrificed themselves if they had known they were going to be dyed blue and featured in the deeply meaningful "We Thuggin'" video.
Crackman and I'm at it again
Niggas had they run, now it's time for
When we step in the club, nigga tuck ya
Got the mink on - same color the Range
Uh, pour liqour for my nigga that's gone
Big Pun! Then we party like we just came
Fuck a bitch if she act too grown
I don't need that shit, I got my wife at

Excerpt from "We Thuggin'" by lyric poet Fat Joe

New York City is supposed to be a stronghold of intelligence. At least, that's what we're told. That's why people move here - to escape the humdrum stupidity of their hometowns.

Walking the streets of New York each winter gives one a different picture, however. It has been a horror for me, especially working in Soho.

Asshole tourists and wretched old women come out in droves to this neighborhood to shop their little hearts out, and TONS of them, ever since I can remember, have worn their full-length minks everywhere. Try walking into Dean & Deluca without coming across some antiquated cunt plucking through the blood oranges in a fur coat. You just can't.

But the streets of Soho are now witness to a new, even more heinous form of vulgarity. People under the age of thirty are, in droves, joining the fur set.

Some of them are going for the classic style - long strips of flesh ripped from tiny animals and sewn together to form a gaudy brown nightmare. You know the coat. But then there are others who are wearing FUR HOODIES, dyed fur coats of various colors that look like a hairy easter egg, hats that look like pine cones, and most pernicious of all, the Hiawatha look, which I simply do not understand. Long strips of leather and fur are sewn together in random clumps to make the wearer look as if he or she is trekking across the tundra and has had to fashion emergency winter clothes out of animals they had to kill for sustenance. ASSES. They're ALL ASSES.

And yet, as with all horribly ugly fashion mistakes, this one is catching like crabs in the Summer of Love.

Where, how and why did this come to be de rigeur again? Where did our morals go? I have never, EVER met anyone under the age of 40 who would even CONSIDER letting a fur coat touch his or her body, and yet now, all of a sudden, everyone's doing it.

In the past week, I have seen a woman come into Sacred Chow, a VEGAN restaurant, wearing a full-length fur coat and a man in the vegan bakery department at Lifethyme wearing a full-length mink coat with a hood and a belt. Was the irony lost on them? I am sure it was. They thought they looked great as they were ordering their seitan and requesting their dairy-free tollbooth cookies. I glared at both of them, wishing that saying something didn't render me susceptible to having my teeth bashed in.

But you can't really talk to these people, can you. "Excuse me, I was just wondering if you realize how completely hypocritical and asinine it is that you're wearing that coat in a vegan restaurant?" wouldn't really work.

It's gotten ridiculous. Fur coats aren't necessary, they're not attractive - they prove little more than the simple fact that the wearer is a selfish cunt.

There is no excuse for the continuation of this vile and revolting trend. I say, treat the people wearing it like the animals whose lives they so callously disregard in order to further their sense of trendiness.

Beat the shit out of them and leave their twitching broken bodies to litter the sidewalk, or scream at them and humiliate them in front of the hordes of people who aren't looking at what they're wearing anyway - the ones they're trying so desperately to impress.

1 comment:

uuaq said...

Especially to ANYONE in a vegan establishment wearing animal fur of any kind, you should make as large and vehement a spectacle of their ironic buffoonery as your outrage can muster. I mean loud! Point, seethe, and direct your announcement to by-standers.

"Pardon me everyone (clap your hands), but their is someone in a vegan deli ordering a vegan snack wearing a fluorescent mink hoodie. See? Right here. Leaning over these morsels of purity with nothing but IRONIC TAINT!

"Please, EVERYONE, join me in an resounding round of applause--dedicated to this fashion-before-health-conscious person standing over in the fresh food department. HURRAY FOR FUR!! YOU LOOK SO LOVELY!! AND PLEASE, DO ENJOY THE REST OF YOUR LUNCH BREAK."

Use the word Taint.. I know how much you like that word.