Sunday, January 27, 2008

Aye-aye, aye-aye, canta y no llores

So, this little thing is an aye-aye

It has a long, very thin middle finger that it uses to dig grubs and other forms of food out of tight spots in trees. This middle finger and eating habit is evolutionarily unique to the aye-aye. (Watch the video below and you can see its "middle finger" in action.)

It is the largest known nocturnal primate. It is native to Madagascar

And, of course, it is endangered. 

But this primate isn't endangered due solely to humanity's continued idiocy in chopping down our last remaining rainforests - oh, no. This one is subjected to THAT, along with a much deeper and more sinister layer of human stupidity.

Native superstition claims that these little things are "harbingers of death," so they are killed on sight, especially if they point their "middle finger" toward the dimwitted islanders. They're harbingers of death, all right - their own. They trundle out of their little rainforest canopy to find a late night snack, and the next thing they know, some tribal schmegeggy has bashed their brains in. Morons.

Sadder still is that they recently discovered "untainted" land in Madagascar, chock full o' new, as yet unseen species. But, as the race for "biofuel" begins, you can be sure that every available, unclaimed patch of land is going to be razed so some short-sighted shitheads can put in palm tree plantations.

Why don't we just get it over with and kill everything all at once? Can't we just do that? It will make things much easier for me - I can blubber hysterically for everything at the same time, instead of having to do it one species at a time as I unravel more and more of the cable-knit sweater of destruction that is the human race.

I'm sick of seeing these reports coming in, sometimes more than once daily, about some new weird species that is being decimated because of deforestation or the need to put a Winn-Dixie parking lot on the last remaining acre of land in which some burrowing owl lives, or because some tribe of jackasses thinks a particular animal is bad luck. 

If you think about it, it's pretty clear which animal is, in reality, bad luck. And it ain't the aye-ayes. 

In case you hadn't guessed by this point, I'm pretty disappointed in humanity's inability to get its shit together. Read this article about how people think they can save the aye-aye and other creatures that aren't as adorable as Nizzles.

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