Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Animal "welfare" policies.


How can "animal welfare policies" be in place in a factory that specializes in killing animals?

This is yet another example of humans' deplorable behavior toward other beings, and quite possibly one of the most nauseating to date. I can't fathom what kind of sick, sick fucks they find to do this sort of shit willingly on a daily basis, hour after hour, but I hope none of them have children. Shit.
The video, shot with a hidden camera and microphone by a Mercy for Animals employee who got a job at the plant, shows a Hy-Line worker sorting through a conveyor belt of chirping chicks, flipping some of them into a chute like a poker dealer flips cards.

These chicks, which a narrator says are males, are then shown being dropped alive into a grinding machine.

In other parts of the video, a chick is shown dying on the factory floor amid a heap of egg shells after falling through a sorting machine. Another chick, also still alive, is seen lying on the floor after getting scalded by a wash cycle, according to the video narrator.

Hy-Line said the video "appears to show an inappropriate action and violation of our animal welfare policies," referring to chicks on the factory floor.

But the company also noted that "instantaneous euthanasia" — a reference to killing of male chicks by the grinder — is a standard practice supported by the animal veterinary and scientific community.

Company spokesman Tom Jorgensen said Tuesday an investigation was continuing, and once it's completed the company would release more information.
Runkle acknowledged that his group's ultimate goal was to get people to stop eating eggs. He said he believe many would refuse to eat eggs if they knew what happened to male chicks.

"The egg industry is perhaps the cruelest industry on the face of the planet," Runkle said.

Mercy for Animals also sent letters to the nation's 50 largest grocery store chains, including Walmart, Whole Foods, Safeway, Harris Teeter and Trader Joe's, asking them to include a label on egg cartons that says, "Warning: Male chicks are ground-up alive by the egg industry."

Read the whole article here.
"They're just chickens," assholes will say. Naturally, because they can't process that a living being is a living being, and no creature great or small was born to suffer such needless cruelty at the hands of a toothless, brainless shithead who gets off on torturing animals. This shit is just. plain. sick.

Although it is horrifying that these practices are allowed to continue, I at least take solace in the fact that stories such as this one have been coming to light more and more in the recent past.

People NEED TO KNOW where their food is coming from, and what sort of torture and malignancy they are endorsing and supporting when they eat meat, dairy and eggs. I can guarantee that 90% of meat-eating people would give it up completely if they were told that, in order for them to get an omelette, they would have to do what these ass-fuckers have been caught doing.

Hurling babies into a fucking grinder? Unfathomable.

Naomi Campbell - Has-been Doughebag - Drapes Herself in Shame


Tantrum (and cell phone)-throwing cunt has-been model Naomi Campbell has taken on Dennis Basso's Line of Shame and is now modeling furs.

We at YOPV really aren't that surprised - she's shown time and time again that she's an arrogant, self-important, utterly pointless human being who lashes out violently and immaturely when things don't go her way. We hate her.


Friday, August 28, 2009

Worst Product Name In the History of the Universe


This product has replaced Nads as Worst Product Name Ever Award Winner!

PIT PUTTY? What were they thinking while they were brainstorming up this repulsive name? It's an organic deodorant, not something you're going to want to form into a bowl or sculpt into a figurine. The name conjures up the image of smearing big, clammy gobs of grey goo into one's armpits. Not what I want to think of when selecting a product to combat human odors.

Sunday, August 23, 2009

Straight from Sacred Chow to my heart.

I'm "friends" with the vegan restaurant Sacred Chow on Facebook, so I'm privy to their shenanigans as or sometimes even before they occur. You can imagine, then, my almost psychotic glee when I saw this status update from the creators of my favorite marinated kale salad:
Sacred Chow ms. fang is molding seitan sausages, which will be wrapped in alum foil and steamed and then served w grain mustard over warm sauerkraut & onions 4 our protein of the day.
FUCK, y'all. I dropped everything I was doing and IMMEDIATELY sent an urgent text message to my Sacred Chow conspirator. We salivated and cried and prayed for the weekend to come so we could sink our teeth into those god damn sausages. And then the moment came. BAM! Check out those fucking sausages, y'all. Homemade! And that mustard - homemade. Off the god damn hook.


And... SHAZAM!


Detailed here, we see our old friend Mr. Marinated Kale Salad, along with some supple, pouting black olive seitan. Next to our tapas is a Charlie Brown Smoothie.

Seriously, y'all. If you haven't been to Sacred Chow yet, you must Run. Screaming. to this place. The waitstaff alone is worth the trip. Where else could you expect a waiter to insert himself into your conversation with, "Oh my god are you all talking about Sarabe from The Lion King?!?" while playing Limahl's "Neverending Story" on his iTunes.

Yes. The place is that good.


Tuesday, August 18, 2009

It's Almost Fur Time Again, Y'all!


It's almost that time of year again, y'all, where the douche-trickles of New York City and other metropolitan areas will attempt to show how "civilized" and "cultured" and "classy" they are by either a) purchasing new furs or b) dragging their wretched, unholy coats and hats and muffs out of fur storage (hint to dipshits - if you have to FREEZE your clothing in order to keep it from going rancid, you probably shouldn't be wearing it. Morons.).

Now, it's no secret that above everything else in the realm of human stupidity, Marky Mae Brown hates - and I mean HATES - fur coats and their continued production. Are we eskimos? Is this 1472? No. Fur and its production are unnecessary, horrifying, disgusting, loathsome, deplorable, and just plain sick.

Why the hell people can't see beyond their own need for vanity, status and material wealth to the simple fact that fur is torture is beyond me. When I was at a seal hunt protest last year, a fat cunt wearing a fur coat proudly paraded back and forth in front of us, waving her fur as if it were just so fucking funny that she had participated in the needless slaughter of probably 60+ minks. She laughed, she smirked, she shot birds at us. I wanted to kick her smug, ugly teeth down her throat.


I think there should be a rule that if you really want a fur coat, you should have to go to a farm yourself, look at the timid, scared, malnourished creature trembling in an overcrowded cage, stare into its eyes for about ten minutes, watch it as it eats, grooms itself, tries to sleep.

If you can get through that and still feel okay about the fact that it's about to either have its neck snapped and its skin ripped from its body while it's still alive or be anally electrocuted and THEN have its skin ripped from its body, carcass tossed aside for the garbage, then you can go ahead and get your coat. And then everyone who sees you in it will know exactly how bereft of compassion you are - which they should know anyway.

Because people who participate in the creation of fur - on any level - are absolutely bereft of compassion and deserve the horrific karmic seeds they are collecting on a massive scale.

All of you fur-wearing cunts can help save ME from collecting a big boatload of negative karmic seeds by staying the fuck away from me, because my gut instinct when I see y'all is to do something akin to the atrocity you were complicit in committing on those innocent animals.

Saturday, August 15, 2009

Jesus Fucking Christ, Y'all.


Okay, I've been on yet another dreary Raw Foods kick - once you start with the raw foods, going back to regular foods makes you feel... what's the word... lame.  I don't know why - I can't explain it. I think starting a raw foods diet, at least for me, puts my brain in 'eating disorder' mode - if I dare eat anything processed at a temperature that exceeds 115 degrees fahrenheit, I immediately feel as if my ass will balloon. Retarded, yes, but whoever said humans were rational thinkers?

Anyway, enough of that drivel.  I'm here to bleat about raw chocolate. The shit is amazing, y'all. And I discovered a new variety yesterday that would make even the most staunch advocate of Hershey's and other purulent, fetid versions of chocolate fall prostrate at the chef's feet, praising him or her for defying all odds and making the most amazing shit in the entire fucking world.  

It's called ChocAlive!. I purchased some yesterday before going to see District 9 - I ain't eating none of that mess they sell at concession stands in movie theaters. (Did you know that the "butter" they use on their popcorn contains condensed chicken feet? True story.) I nestled into my seat and popped open the 'sampler pack' of raw chocolate truffles, and ho-lee fucking shit, y'all, I almost had to get up and leave the theater, my reaction was so strong. I could not believe the smooth, sweet, amazing deee-lite that I had just bitten into was actually raw food. One variety was rolled in coconut, another in cacao nibs, and I think the other was just rolled in raw cacao powder. Whatever they were rolled in, they were all of them - each and every one - off the god damn chain.

Meanwhile, what's all this fuss about raw chocolate that's been going on not just in hippie news circuits but on mainstream news as well? From ChocAlive's website:
ChocAlive! is uncompromising in our standards, using only the highest quality organic ingredients and carefully preparing our products in such a way as to preserve those precious, vital enzymes and nutrients that make ChocAlive! products so inimitably nutritious AND delicious!

Although known to be rich in magnesium and high in antioxidants, conventional chocolate is heated, processed and refined to such a degree that many of these touted healthy components are literally destroyed. While this type of chocolate may taste good, it is usually no longer as nutritious as nature intended it to be. Here's what makes our ChocAlive! products so uniquely healthful:

Prepared at temperatures below 118°F, preserving the integrity of the enzymes, vitamins and minerals of these straight from nature ingredients
Extremely high in antioxidants and magnesium
Contains only wholesome, unprocessed, plant-based sweeteners
Contains NO wheat, gluten, refined sugars or dairy products
Wide variety of flavors and products available without nuts for those with allergies

And here's a good article from msnbc.com on the benefits of raw chocolate. But really - the benefits are not the important part for me. I am a chocolate hog - I always have been. I have been known to eat an entire pound of See's 'nuts & chews' in one sitting and grope for more once the box is empty. So to find raw chocolates - and en ever-expanding selection of brands - emerging in the marketplace - chocolate I can eat without feeling as if I'm going to need to purchase braces to keep my furniture from buckling - is particularly exciting for me. Each ingredient is o so good for you. 

Huzzah for raw chocolate!

Friday, May 8, 2009

On the Road with YOPV, Part 2.

God damn, y'all. MMB's been doin' him some EATIN'.

He met his friend Tracie yesterday morning (and her new French Bulldog Gatsby) and the two of them headed out for a day of excitement. First, they went to the Alcove Cafe and Bakery on Hillhurst in Los Feliz. As they were enjoying their brunch of granola and soymilk, and assorted comestibles, they noticed several celebrities lounging about at various tables - most notably, Mr. Jude Law was sitting at the table next to them and Mr. Lenny Kravitz was a few tables away. Oh, Los Angeles...

After a brief sojourn to the Wacko Soap Plant on Hollywood Blvd., where they witnessed the theft of several expensive pieces of art from the back gallery, they jetted off to Scoops, a purveyor of fine homemade ice cream with a lovely vegan selection.


MMB sampled the banana oreo cookie and the chocolate almond varieties. Both were so god damn good he almost started screaming.

After that, Tracie had to go to pick her son up, so MMB was left on his own. He spent the afternoon drooling over the selection at Amoeba, the best fucking music / movie store on the planet. He bought a Mojave 3 cd and the first season of Popular, because he's, you know, that way.

Afterward, he met his friend Amy and the two went to Cru, the raw food restaurant in Silverlake that USED TO have that god damn banana split that sent MMB into a foaming frenzy. Although MMB was upset that the banana split was no longer on the menu, he decided he would give their other items a chance. And he's very happy he did.

The marinated kale salad with avocado and sprouts was deee-licious. MMB got him some roughage, y'all, and it was worth it. Kale may well be the best food on the planet, just so you know. Vitamin K, calcium, all sorts of shit is packed up in them leafy folds.

Amy got a sampler platter complete with a different variety of kale salad, some tzaziki with cucumbers, cashew nut cheese, some mashed date shenanigans, and beet salad. MMB tried the cashew cheese and it was fucking GOOD.


Check this shit out, y'all. This is raw cashew cheese ravioli stuffed in jicama. So good you would want to order another plate of it immediately after consuming this shit. Garlicky, creamy, fucking awesome - these little bastards are some of the best things ever.

After MMB's initial despondency over the fact that Cru had removed the banana split from their menu, he decided to give the brownie a la mode a go. Holy Fucking Balls, y'all. It's BETTER than the banana split. Yes, you read that right - it's better. The brownie tastes and feels like a regular brownie, and the ice cream and chocolate sauce - SHAZAM!

Today, MMB's going to visit his favorite West Coast yoga instructor Patty at Karuna Yoga on Hillhurst. He can't wait. Then he'll probably saunter over to Ye Olde Vegan Barn for a seitan wrap. But you never know. So many choices.